Meaningful Expression [CLOSED]

Maria was exhausted. She hadn't slept for the past six nights and was practically falling asleep while she walked. It was all that stupid Frankie's fault! He wouldn't leave her alone. It had been two weeks since Neil had brought them both onto his team and Maria wanted Frankie gone! She didn't care how 'useful' Frankie was. He refused to leave her alone, kept touching her any time he got a chance, and wouldn't stop following her around. Maria wasn't able to tell whether he was a nice guy or not either. He helped her with some of the chores and 'assignments' she had been given, but would then trap her in a corner, touch her face, and compliment her. Each time, she dodged and snuck away form him, but he wasn't getting the hint! He'd go "Aww, come on! Just one" and then continue his chase.

The first and second mornings in Neil's home were the worst of them. On the first night, Maria didn't think she'd have to lock her door, so she didn't. When she woke up, Frankie was standing over her bed with no shirt on and telling her it was time to get going. She kicked him out of course; his behavior was very confusing. The second morning, even though she had locked her door, she woke up to him shaking her. He didn't do it hard, but his "Rise and shine babe" was not something she enjoyed having said to her. Ever since then, Maria has gone through different lengths to keep him away. The past six nights she had given up and just didn't sleep. Any time he came into her room, she was already awake and dressed. At this point in the week, Maria was drained and had very heavy bags under her eyes.

It hit some time around four in the afternoon and Maria's chores and whatever other assignments she might have been given were done. "Alright, here..." she handed one of the house employees a packet of paperwork and began walking back toward her room. As she turned the corner, she saw Frankie standing there leaning against her door. He was waiting for her, wasn't he? She panicked and turned the other direction. "Hey Maria?" Frankie called out, so she assumed he caught her. Maria ran down the hall and into a random room, not realizing that it was Neil's office. When she turned around and saw where she was, she thought to run back out, but was worried that Frankie would catch her. She ran onto the other side of Neil's fancy desk and crawled under it, being as quiet as she could.

Maria found herself laying on a small hill. It was day and the sky was perfectly clear. Besides the sound of softly moving air as a cool breeze washed over the valley, the place was silent. She sat up fom her place on the cool grass and looked around. She raised her arms and stretched, yawning at the same time. Suddenly a hand was set on her shoulder and she looked back to see Neil smiling down at her. She smiled back and he began to speak, but she heard nothing come from him. She looked at him confused and went to speak, but her voice didn't sound either. She looked down and held onto her throat, wondering why she couldn't speak. "Rise and shiiine." she heard Neil's voice that time, but it sounded like it was coming from everywhere. When she saw a shadow shift in the corner of her eye, Maria looked up and realized she was staring down the barrel of a gun. Her eyes widened, her pupils dilated, and she began to shake. She tried to ask why, but her voice just wouldn't work. She watched Neil smirk down at her and saw him begin to tighten his finger around the trigger and bang.

Maria jumped as she was startled awake. Her head slammed into the desk above her and she instantly curled, holding onto her head. "Ow, ow, ow, ow, owww...." she whined, almost on the verge of crying, waiting for the pain to calm down. Once the pain faded enough, she looked up and remembered where she was. Seeing Neil, she jumped back away from him and ended up hitting her back against the other end of the desk, but this one didn't hurt. "You kicked me!" Maria said like a child would. It was then that he said something a little confusing. She narrowed her eyes and puffed out her cheeks, but then her normal smile returned with a following giggle. She reached out and poked his tummy as quickly as she could, "Beep! ... And why not? It's safe down here, you know." Maria curled up again and was obviously extremely tired. She was still a little out of it from waking up. As if in a sudden daze, she blinked a couple times to refocus. When she couldn't do that, her head began bobbing up and down, one time hitting the desk, "Ow...." She was trying to stay awake, but desperately needed some sleep.

Maria was surprised when he batted her hand away. She was just being nice... Even Mister Vonnera wouldn't hit her hand away when she did that. Of course, if she did it in front of other people, he'd have her whipped. For some reason, Maria felt like she was in a lot of trouble. She couldn't look Neil in the eye and any time she saw the expression  he held, she felt her stomach turn. Was he going to have her whipped too? That was it reminded her of. She thought this would be different.

As he went to prove her wrong, Maria clenched her jaw and jumped in instinctive panic. The chair had actually run over the tips of her fingers. "Ow!" she said as she was able to pull her hand back. "Disprove my what? What does that even mean!?" she semi-shouted back at him, trying to push his chair back away from her. "You're squishing me!" she stated the obvious again, but she didn't understand that he was trying to prove a point with this and kept trying to push him away.

"S-Safe from Frankie!" she said, putting her hand on the seat to try and push him back, "Please move back! I'm sorry! Please!" Maria was used to having to beg, but she didn't like it. It didn't seem like he was going to move either. She was about to ask again when he finally moved back and she fell toward him a bit. Catching herself, she moved to all fours and rushed out from under the desk, but made sure to keep hiding as well. She curled her knees to her chest and held them there.

"Frankie won't leave me alone... I haven't been able to sleep because he keeps getting into my room..." she explained looking angrily up at Neil. She was pouting to a degree, but there really was a strong sense of irritation at him. She thought he was going to be different! He treats her like everyone else does: like trash. "He helps me with chores when I ask him not to and he makes it where my back is against the wall and can't go anywhere so he can say weird things to me..."

"I came in here because he doesn't." Maria explained, holding her sore hand, "If he can't find me, I'll be okay... I don't like him. He scares... me..." She was falling asleep again.

"Yes, he scares me! Why are you laughing at that?!" Maria was actually very embarrassed. She didn't like being laughed at, especially when it came to something like this, something she didn't understand. Him laughing at her being scared only confused her more. Once he stopped laughing and explained it to her, Maria listened to him with more confusing forming in her mind. "Hurt me?" she repeated the first time. That wasn't what she meant, no. She shook her head at him. She must have said it wrong!

"No, no. I don't mean he wanted to hurt me. He didn't say that... I think." Maria looked away for a moment and then crossed her legs, looking up to Neil like a kindergartner attending class, "He said stuff about taking me away, like 'ditch this place' and see a little bit more of each other. He keeps trying to kiss me and hugs me when I say no. I run away or hide and he finds me again. In the morning, he wakes me up and complains about my pajamas being on me. Where should they be?!"

"He sneaks up behind me and pulls me to him and whispers 'hey cutie' into my ear..." she rubbed her ear and shivered as chills shot up her spine, "He plays with my hair, tries to lift my skirt, tells me my hair is pretty, he likes my eyes, and laughs when I smack him, push him away, or my face turns red... He says it's cute and he likes the chase. I don't understand what his problem is... I think he needs something more to do. Can you make him go away? I don't want to go to 'date' with him!"

"Wh-... What... Why are you laughing at me?!" Maria just did not understand what was going on. She watched him just keep laughing and laughing. She clenched her fists as he continued on. When that half a minute passed and he finally stopped, she did her best to calm down while he explained things. When he mentioned the pants, she looked down to her legs in confusion. She wasn't wearing any! He seemed to notice this because he immediately continued on trying to explain it.

"That's stupid." Maria said bluntly, actually sounding like she was accusing someone of something. This time, she was accusing Frankie of just being stupid. She looked away and narrowed her eyes, staring at one of the drawer handles for a few seconds. That same drawer was soon opened and something pulled out. She caught the strange object that he pulled out in her hands and stared at it. Maria pulled the trigger that Neil was talking about and saw this strange zap happen between the metal.

"Ohh..." Maria's eyes sort of sparked with curiosity. Before she got a chance to test it, Neil asked her to promise something. "I don't know, maybe... Probably, yeah. I guess." she just shrugged. Thoughts passed through her mind while she thought about her answer. She wanted to be around him, but was quickly losing interest in doing that. "Yeah, I promise." she said and shrugged it off in an almost uncaring manner and looked back toward the little strange box he had tossed at her.

Maria was more interested in this contraption right now. She placed her hand over both pieces of metal and pulled the trigger. Her body suddenly jolted, tensing heavily. Her eyes rolled to the back of her head and her muscles convulsed harshly and she fell. Maria was completely out of it for two minutes before finally waking up. She felt her body twitch, especially her arm and was fighting to regain control over it. When she did, she looked up to see Neil smoking his cigar and reading a book.

"That was new." she said as she looked to the box. She stood up and set it down on his desk. "If I can barely handle it, I'm not using it on him. I prefer not torturing people." she said and then turned away, "I'll be in my room if you need me..." Maria said with a hopeless tone and walked toward the door with her head lowered. If she was stopped, she was stopped. If she wasn't stopped, she'd made her way back to her room and just sit on her bed until the sun was down, and then finally just go to sleep.

Maria stopped walking away when he spoke; she would not ignore him. As he continued, she turned around to face him. She kept eye contact like she had always been taught to do when someone of authority was speaking to her. "If that is what you want, then sure." Maria spoke still in that hopeless tone she had before. She sounded half-dead, but it didn't exactly matter. It's not like he would really care, right? There was no difference. No matter where she was at, nothing changed.

"I should probably let you know that you're wrong about something though..." Maria said and held up the hand she had shocked. There were two deep red marks where the electricity had burned her. They may not have been big, but to anyone else they would have been very playful. "I can barely feel it." she told him and then looked to the palm of her hand, "It wasn't the pain that mattered. The 'pain' was not what made me decide to not use that weapon against Frankie... It was the effect."

"I don't know if you've ever been hit by that thing, but I couldn't control my own body." she said as she pointed toward where the taser would be, "I could feel my muscles not working right. They wouldn't listen to me. I don't like that. My body has been stretched, whipped, thrown, stoned, cut, and stabbed over many occasions just to get me use to the pain. Mister Vonnera said it would help me to fight. He hurt me a lot, all the time. If I wasn't cleaning, I was 'training' with him."

"I can handle pain better than lots and lots of people..." she dropped her arms to the side and stared rather dully toward Neil, "I don't want you to think I wouldn't use that weapon against Frankie because I didn't want to hurt him... I won't use it because I don't like feeling like I can't control the way my body moves... It's the one and only thing I've ever been able to be in control of and it's not something I would take away from anyone else, or allow anyone to take away from me."

Surprisingly, that final bit sounded sort of like a warning that said 'don't fucking do that again' at the same time as 'that includes you'. Maria may not have been the smartest, the strongest, or the fastest girl out there, but she appreciated the few things she felt did actually belong to her. She'd rather die than someone take that away from her. "So what are you wanting for breakfast?" she asked, her tone becoming slightly lighter than it had been through this entire conversation.

Wait, what? She spoke badly toward him, didn't she? Why wasn't he yelling at her? Why wasn't he beating her? Why was she not being dragged out of the room and down toward the basement to be punished? Maria was completely taken by surprise. She almost couldn't handle it. Instead of being angry, he was just taken by surprise? Why? She didn't get it! She didn't understand! What was happening? Maria's face distorted slightly, but she closed her eyes and just stayed still for a bit.

The next thing Maria knew, she was sitting with breakfast in front of her. She didn't even remember ordering or anything like that. In fact, she couldn't remember anything of the past few minutes. What happened? When Neil spoke up, her attention was brought back to him. Wasn't she just glaring at him and warning him to not try to control her? Why were they having breakfast? When she realized he was still talking about controlling her, Maria tuned in a bit more to understand him.

"My name...?" Maria looked around, her eyes darting from left to right trying to search the depths of her mind for what her actually name was, "I don't... have one. I don't have one. I... don't... have my own name." She almost seemed to be freaking out about this, "Am I allowed to choose my own name or are you going to name me? They told me Vonnera." "Choose it yourself." He thinks for a moment. "Although if you go for something ridiculous like Kalamazoo, I will ask for you to reconsider."

"O'Cary..." she said bluntly and stared directly at him, "I'm not going to choose Frankie or that stupid maid who keeps trying to dress me. If anyone is going to claim me, I want it to be you. At least then I won't get hit and will be paid for the stuff I do..." Maria looked away with a sad expression, but then spoke up, again, "You said I would get paid, right? What do I get paid with?" she said as she sort of went off on a tangent. She didn't ever handle money; she wouldn't know what to do with it.

"What am I supposed to do with that stuff?" Maria raised an eyebrow at him. She didn't know how to handle money; she never had to before. She knew what it was, little round pieces of colored metal, but not how to exchange it, or what to exchange it for. She also knew people liked it and assumed it was because they were shiny, but had no understanding of the value. Beyond that, any time she had any in her hand, someone would snatch it away from her and tell her that it no longer belonged to her.

Maria's head lowered in disappointment. She didn't understand what would be wrong with her having his name too. "But... I'm supposed to do what you tell me to do, right? That means I'm yours and... Aren't I supposed to have your name to show people that?" Maria said in reply to his first explanation. She obviously needed that cleared up. When he started up with the second explanation, the idea of being a 'free woman' went over her head completely. She tried to even imagine what that meant.

"Our secret? So... Maria Drago?"  she spoke up, swallowing and then taking a deep breath. She wasn't understanding any of this, but Neil wouldn't lie to her, at least that's what she thought. He may not like her, but- Wait a minute... "That's what they call you!" she said with a sudden burst of excitement. Her eyes practically shined as  she came to realize this. Without even thinking, Maria sort of lunged forward at him, arms spread wide. She was going in for a nice big tackle hug to say, "Thank you!"

She hit the floor. Why did she hit the floor? Why did he just let her fall?! Why didn't he just let her hug him!? Maria laid there for a moment and then pushed herself up to sit on her knees, her hands clenching her skirt. He offered a hand, but she didn't even glance toward it. He asked her for no hugs, but why? What did that even mean? She didn't understand how someone couldn't like a hug. She slowly turned her gaze up toward him, hesitating every moment as if she was scared to look at him.

"You don't like me... do you?" she said, still not fully looking up at him, "That's how people show that they like and care about each other... They gives hugs and pats on the head..." Maria raised her own hand and pat the top of her own head. This was obviously what she had been used to with the Vonnera. They told her that she was a "good girl" every time they did one of these. She got a pat on the head when she was off to do a mission and a hug when she had come back successfully.

Maria then looked away from him completely. "And if you didn't want a hug, you could have just caught me... or pushed me away..." Maria said, pouting a little bit, "You didn't have to just step aside and let me fall. I don't have a disease, you know. I'm not dirty because they let me take lots more baths here, so I don't smell bad either... You didn't have to just let me fall. That was mean." Maria stood up on her own dusting herself off. The poor girl didn't know what to think about him at this point.

So he did like her? Maybe? Then how come no hugs!? Feeling his hand tap the top of her head, Maria had a smile return to her face. She  must have done something good! She didn't know what, but- No. That wasn't it. He was showing her that he cared without hugs, right? Yes. That was right. As Neil sat back down, Maria sort of scooted across the floor to sit about five feet away from him while they talked. As he explained, Maria's eyes widened and she gave a strong shake of the head.

"No, no, no, no, no! I don't want to kill you, so my lunges are not the same!" Maria crossed her arms along her chest and narrowed her eyes, but not exactly at him. She was upset, though mistakenly, that he felt the need to protect himself from something that she felt happy about. As he went on, Maria found herself staring at the half-eaten meal for a few moments. She looked from it and back to him a couple times before sighing and lowering her head. She raised her hands and stared at them too.

"That's not fair though..." Maria said in a disappointed tone, "I don't have gifts to give... I can't cook... You're stronger than me by lots, so I can't really protect you from harm either... The only thing I could do will mess up your nice hair..." Maria stretched her legs out in front of her and glared at them in actual anger. A moment later, the little lady flailed her arms and semi-shouted in irritation at, "And I'm too short for it too! I can't pat your head to show you that I care because you're so tall!"

The gods were dull facing at Neil right now. Whether he was ignorant of the situation or not was not even the issue. He knew how to easily confuse her, but this one took a whole different level. Maria brought her left hand up and stared. She brought her right hand up and stared. She then put them both on her head and pat her own head. For a few moments, she was thinking very, very, very, very, very hard and nothing seemed to be clicking. Looking to Neil, Maria suddenly got this embarrassed expression on her face and she turned away from him again, whining a little.

"Mmm... Breakfast was nice, yes. I liked the jello stuff." she said, her tone slightly saddened. She glanced back over her shoulder at Neil, but then looked away from him. She repeated this process a few times, obviously embarrassed about something. "Neil..." she said and turned back toward him, keeping her gaze on the ground, "Please don't laugh at me this time... but... I... Mmm... I don't... know... how to... read... or write. I don't know how hand and head are two letters off of each other." Maria held up her left hand toward him and then pat her head with her right as she explained this.

"Something off?" Maria repeated sadly. She didn't want to be 'off' or any variant of. She just wanted to be Maria Von-... Maria Drago! Yeah. She remembered. That was her new name, wasn't it? As he explained, Maria did listen to the best of her ability, but she felt really, really bad. What had her entire life been up until now? She felt lied to, betrayed, confused, disgusted, insecure, and stupid all at once. Each of these feelings were driving her insane. She wasn't used to this. She was used to the way things were with the Vonnera and that was it. What was going to happen now?

"You won't?" she replied with a slightly cheery voice, but she seemed almost drained. It was as if her mind had been completely worn out over the conversation and she was feeling weak. She did push up a nice smile for him; that was what he said he wanted her to do to show she cared. If she needed to smile, she would smile, but she had learned before that smiling wasn't always easy. And right now, it wasn't easy. At least it wasn't easy until he said he'd give her a reading lesson! Her eyes widened in surprise and glee at this. She even clapped her hands excitedly as it started.

Maria just stared at the paper for a moment after the lesson was given. "Am I stupid? I don't... I don't get it." Maria was obviously highly upset at this, but she kept forcing up the smile. She even repeated everything he said word for word, but just because she could memorize something, didn't mean she understood the meaning behind it. "I wish you liked hugs..." she spoke up, running her finger along the H and A letters on the paper, "They're nice, you know? And they're warm... They only mean one thing, at least when nice one's are given... No secrets. No lies. Just love."

"At least, that's what I thought, but I probably don't know that either. I don't know if anything I know is true... or real. If the Vonnera were that bad..." Maria choked up at that moment. A few drops of water stained the paper she was now holding. She stared intensely at the two words there, wondering why she couldn't understand them. Why was everything she thought she knew wrong? "They never cared about me... did they? Even though they gave me my name... they didn't love me..." Maria buckled over, holding the paper to her chest, "And now I don't think anyone ever has."